Written By Chelsea Janette Yancey
Dear Chelsea,
Is that even your name? Or is it your ““new name” which you should always remember and which you must keep sacred and never reveal, except at a certain place that will be shown you hereafter?”
So, should I call you Chelsea or Rhoda?
What’s in a name anyways and why label yourself just so you can have a sense of belonging? You do not belong to a cult/church or any man. Don’t force yourself to fit in where you don’t belong. You do not belong to anyone but YOURSELF! Stop listening to and believing those who tell you that something is wrong with you. Find your voice and speak your own truth. They will tell you it’s all in your head and that you are the problem, but don’t buy into any of it. The abuse is the problem, NOT YOU!
It's taken you a long time to actually admit to yourself that you don’t feel loved. You lived in misery day in and day out for so long that it taught you how to be alone. You know you deserve much better treatment. You had to make a decision that broke your heart, but gave peace to your soul. You stayed long enough and you know your worth is more than that! All that you built in the past was for a person you are not! You gave your body, soul, and all that you had until you had nothing left to give…after you’ve tried and tried, and you’ve cried and cried.
The day finally came when you realized that was NOT how you want to live your life. Deep down you have always known that you are a woman who knows what she is worth, and is not afraid to speak her mind! Living your own life has cost you. It cost your marriage, family, and friends. It cost you being liked and understood. You’ve been attacked, slandered, and threatened to be excommunicated from your tribe.
Your abusers are doing anything in their power to control you and make your life a living hell. You have survived tough battles and won. You have continued to be slandered and keep fighting a war to have your children. You’re smart enough to not listen to those voices because you know the truth, and you are strong enough to keep fighting.
Your entire life will continue to change. You keep loving yourself enough to know you deserve more, brave enough to demand more, and continue being disciplined enough to actually work for it.
You’ve learned that it’s not about having the strength to hold on, it’s about having the courage to let go. You don’t need anyone else. The only person you need is the person in the mirror! You’re becoming a woman who understands there are multiple realities and you’re more at peace with being misunderstood. You’re drawn to learning new things, crave deeper connections, and internal peace.
You are a mother who loves her children unconditionally. You hope that they never wonder what they have to change about themselves to be loved like you once believed. Your life is and always will be for your children no matter how big they get. They have given you a whole new view on the meaning of life, and you couldn’t love them any more than you already do.
Stay focused on yourself and your children. Keep falling in love with who you are and being your beautiful self. Being beautiful means to be YOURSELF and that you don’t need to be accepted by others. You are creating a beautiful life for yourself even if you lost many years to abuse and trauma.
Continue being the strong and independent woman you are. Your superpower is refusing to give up, even on your weakest days when you feel you’re not enough. You’re strong, you’re good enough, and you’ll be fine!